Fat, facts, and friends 6/13/07

Frenemies, is my new favorite word, especially after this past weekend when my "friend" revealed her true thoughts. This weekend was to be the weekend of party blisss. Lovely word, bliss...kinda sizzles, I feel like making love every time I say that word. But I digress, my party bliss weekend was due to my finishing my first semester of grad school with a 4.0 GPA. Me!! the eternal slacker, allergic to studying, I buckled down and got my money's worth from school, 4.0!!! I was so ready to party, I'm talking party like I was an undergrad sneaking into bars and doing shot after shot of turpentine tasting poison before the police raided the place. I went to school in a dorky town, police raids on bars were weekend highlights. But again, I digress. Fast forward 10 years, trendy bar/lounge in NYC, stilettos, smoky eyes, squeezed into butt enhancing pants and a nipple gate black top, feeling oh so glam and so ready to mix mojitos and men. The night went no farther then me applying two coats of Great Lash in my bathroom as "Regulators Round up" echoed from the cd. My very own BFF was over getting ready with me. We've been friends since college not exactly ying to my yang but my girl, my party buddy, man expert, and fashion guru. She's a gorgeous sister who makes Halle Berry look like Whoopi. Which is why I was so surprised to hear her moaning about looking fat in her black halter dress. She looked fabulous very sex and the city-ish, like she should have had paparazzi flashing bulbs at her. She stood in front the mirror pinching skin around her underarms. The Chick literally had to clutch at her bronze flesh to hold the taut skin between her fingers, look fat my ass. My ass indeed! Which is what I said to which she responded with rolled eyes and a " Oh someone like you wouldn't understand." WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!! Granted I'm a size 22 but that doesn't mean I'm insincere with my comments about how she looks. She looked great and grasping desperately at flesh and moaning about being fat when you are stick thin and a size 4 means she doesn't understand! I mean it was under arm skin for goodness sake. Maybe if she had grabbed a nonexistent roll around her belly I might have been less sarcastic but underarm skin, freaking hell. Well my sarcasm didn't go over well, she claims I blow everything out of proportion, just like when R asked me to lose weight in order to be in her wedding party. I couldn't believe she claims I don't have a right to be annoyed about that or her constantly pushing diet coke on me. It became a screaming match that ended with her storming out, maybe to home or the bar or to wherever, I don't know, we haven't talked since. Perhaps I am too sensitive about my weight but all I know is my party bliss weekend turned into me watching soapnet and eating Ben and Jerry's peanut butter cup ice cream. Happy 4.0!